Breaking Up Is Hard To Do.

Over the course of a lifetime we’ll meet a lot of people. Some of these people will cause permanent footprints in our heart and soul and stay with us forever, and sometimes people just need to weave through your life. Occasionally, we come to find that one ‘friend’ who can more or less be deemed ‘toxic.’ Literally, they drain the life from you. They stress you out or make you feel bad. You walk on eggshells around them. You aren’t sure if you are their friend or therapist. Or, perhaps your ‘friendship’ is one ended- one of you trying harder than the other. Maybe you just genuinely do not enjoy spending time with this person. It’s time to let go of this person. Yes friend, it’s time to break up.

It is okay to break up with a friend, right? I mean, if it were a ‘romantic relationship’ and we drug this person along without having any feelings for them, it would be deemed wrong, right? Well, how come if I want to break up with a friend I’m deemed a “bitch?” It is my life after all, shouldn’t I get to decide whom I want to spend my precious time with?

So say you want to go through with this break up. How does one begin the process? It’s not like a boyfriend/girlfriend you can just call up, meet for coffee, and tell them it’s over. Or, can you? Do you sit and have ‘the talk’ with the friend you are breaking up with? “Sorry, I just don’t think we can be friends anymore.” Perhaps you aggressively ignore their calls, texts, and chats until they get the hint? Or, maybe you just let the relationship die out. Are you required to keep them on your social media sites? What are the rules? You are allowed to dislike people, but why is it then deemed ‘rude’ to not want to be friends with your friend’s friends?

I don’t believe there is a right way to do it. Someone’s feelings are bound to get hurt, but it’s better to live an honest life, right? So friends, I’m making the stand and telling you that you are allowed to feel exactly how you want. If you want to break up with that friend that’s dragging you down then by all means- break up with that friend! 

Unfriend. Unfollow. Delete. 

Friendships should be in quality not quantity. 

A Letter To My Nieces & Nephews.

Hey Kiddos:

Every time I go home and see you guys, I am painfully reminded how fast time flies. It seems as though I was just racing to the hospital to be with the family as your mothers joyfully gave birth to you. I remember each and every day of your births, just as if it were yesterday.

Now, here you are running, walking, talking, starting school, and growing up so remarkably fast right in front of my eyes! As much as I want to hug you guys and keep you little forever, I know that is not possible. I wish I could sit you down and tell you so many things but I know you are still too little to understand. Instead, I’ll write you this letter and hope that one day when you can read and understand a little better you can read it and hopefully feel something.

I wish that someone would have reminded me how important it is to stay as young as possible- for as long as possible, even if it’s just in your heart. I remember being your age and anxiously looking forward to each milestone in life. When I was young, I couldn’t wait to be in high school. Then it was college, then it was getting married, and so on. I was always looking onto the next stage of life; always thinking life would be so much better once I got there. Nobody told me that I would look back on all those years with such nostalgia. Dreaming, wishing, giving anything to go back.

You are learning so much more than we could have ever imagined. With all the resources available to you these days, remember that no dream is too small. Dream as big as you can for as long as you can. You can literally do anything and you will always have people backing you up and supporting you. Don’t even think you aren’t good enough. Just because you come from a small town, small school doesn’t mean you have to limit yourself to being small forever. Dream bigger, do bigger, and believe bigger.

But, with all these new available resources and technology it will be easy to be tempted and see things that are bad. Don’t lose your innocence. Don’t give in to things you know in your heart are wrong because others are doing it. Stay true to yourself. I know, I know it’s way easier said than done. But, trust me in the end it will all be worth it to know that you became what you dreamt of by remaining true to yourself.

Never get too old to call your parents. Never get too old to tell anyone how much you love them. Never get too old to kiss your Dad goodnight; he’ll love it every time, I promise. Never forget where you came from and equally important, never lose sight of where you are going. Your path may become blurry at times- but the map is there in your heart. And finally, never forget how much I love you, think and want the world for you. Never be afraid to call home, it's there where you will find open arms and hearts full of love. 

Xo.