Can You Repeat That?

Over the past month or so, I keep getting asked the same odd question. 

“Would you ever get surgery to have your hearing restored?”

I say odd, because for almost 17 years I have been living with hearing loss in my right ear. 

It has progressively gotten worse but hasn’t (yet) reached complete deafness. 

Anyway, in the last seventeen years I don’t recall ever being asked that question 

and it has came up numerous times to me over the last couple months.

I have never really put a lot of thought into it, but I am now. 

If given the chance would I want to restore complete hearing in both of my ears? 

To put it quite simply; I don’t think so, no. 

I don’t feel like I am missing out on anything 

and to be honest I am a little terrified to hear how loud I actually am sometimes.

 Kidding!

 No, sometimes it is a huge pain to have to constantly be thinking 

about what side I need to stand or sit on when I am with other people. 

It gets annoying that people think I am not listening to them 

when I have to have them repeat themselves. 

I know that a lot of people get frustrated with me for it, 

but I think it’s part of being patient with me and me with others.

As a baby I was affected with ear infections, a lot. 

I got my first hearing-aid when I was four and continued to wear it until about sixth or seventh grade. 

When I refused to wear it any longer

 my mother took me to my audiologist to see what else could be done.

 It was then that we found out my discrimination rate had fallen to 0%. 

Meaning that I could no longer discriminate the difference between two words

such as 'cone' and 'comb' other than by using the context.

At that point I was too young for surgery but a hearing aid would no longer help me.

At the time the only thing that I heard in all of that was I no longer had to wear 

the dreadful hearing-aid, no more questions and looks for other kids, 

and no more looking so different from everyone else. 

When you're twelve, fourteen, seventeen, all you really want to do is blend in. 

It took a long time for me to be comfortable with the fact that I cannot hear. 

But now as a young adult I can finally say I'm okay with it. 

I like that it makes me a little different than everyone else. 

I am perfectly happy with the way that I am – hearing wise. 

When people meet me they have no idea that I cannot hear out of the one ear. 

Some people that have known me for a while still do not realize it 

because it’s not something I randomly tell them when we first meet. 

If things continually went downhill and the hearing gets worse over time I would probably consider it,

 but until then we will all just have to put up with the fact

 that I will ask you to repeat what you said, 

say huh?! a lot,

 and constantly need to be on the right side.